My last year as a 20sb

20sb. Twenty something blogger. Huh…

I can’t believe I’m in my last year as a twenty something. Next year, I admittedly will be 30. THIRTY. Not something I’m sure about. I have been able to accomplish quite a bit in my 20′s so there’s not a feeling of failure.

I finished my bachelor’s degree in Management. I finished my master’s degree in Occupational Therapy. I got married. I have a real job. I have a real adult car (which came with a real adult car payment). My husband and I have a mortgage. We don’t have kids, but since we aren’t sure we want them, that’s a none issue at the moment.

So…30….

Ok, I will admit that aging in general is a bit nerve wrecking. It wasn’t so much until I was working in the health care field. I mostly work with adults who are anywhere between 65 and up. 90-something is the oldest I’ve seen so far, personally. I get them dressed, help them use the rest room, take showers etc. I think aging has me nervous. I see things that shock and appall me. Mostly shock. But I can’t act shocked or appalled, you see. Actually, I have developed

This past weekend, I got to spend a little time with other 20 somethings at the very first 20 Something Blogger Summit in Chicago. I mostly went just to see a few different people, but meeting others that I recognized from online was pretty awesome. I have to admit that.

What I also have to admit? I enjoyed myself. I really did! It was a lot of fun, I had a lot of laughs, a few tears, some feelings of admiration for my peers, and I truly felt closer to a few people.

But at the same time. There was also a lot I didn’t REALLY care about. I don’t care if saying that makes me a jerk. But I am a blogger who mostly just likes to get things off my chest. I’m not out to create my own projects or community. I don’t want the pressure of trying to plan out a calendar of blog posts. That feels stressful. I want to write what I want to write about when I feel like writing about it.

Also? I’m nearing 30. And I felt awkward among some of the other 20somethings. Mostly the younger ones. There is a theme common around 20somethings that states in short that they are having problems finding themselves. That’s not the term I’m looking for. GAH. Lost maybe? Whatever. At any rate…You know what’s weird??? I feel like I finally, kind of, have. Found myself, that is. I think most days i do….Some days, maybe I don’t…But most of my life is pretty well figured out for now.

But I’m still apparently awkward around others, socially. Well, others I don’t know well. For those I know well, I’m loud and fun!. I’m thinking that in my 30s, I may have to try to fix my awkwardness a bit…