I lost it. All of it.

Granted, I’m not at the specific weight I said I would be at when I finished my Shrinking Goal. But I am in a happy place. I realized during this last weight loss challenge (which actually, I could have chosen either fitness or weight goals)…. that weight loss isn’t my major goal anymore. Yes, I’d love to weigh even less. But I’m weighing in right now (depending on the day, time, etc)….Anywhere between 133-135lb.

And I am pretty darn happy with this. I freak out when it goes above 135 some days…I think I will always freak out. Having started off my journey at 160lbs the day I got married in October 2009, I have come a very long way. I lost nearly 30lbs!!! I want to be able to say, still, that I DID lose 30 pounds.  But saying 27lbs feels good…

Instead of weighing myself weekly, I am challenging myself to doing so bi-weekly instead. Focusing not on weight loss now, but focusing on my inches. Reducing those. Because I want to tone up and as I start toning up, my weight may fluctuate.  I expect it. And it scares me to get on the scale while this is happening. I have weight problems…in my mind, ok? 

I get down on myself very easily. While I have never had a full fledged eating disorder (and I never could because I love love love to eat), I know that there are days when people may think I may be borderline. But I’m trying to do what I can right now to stay healthy and focus on the things that will make that very possible.

I’m excited. Excited to keep focusing on eating healthy, getting the rest I need, keeping up with relaxation with my yoga practice, and getting in a little more weight lifting. Its about feeling good and staying healthy — not about losing weight anymore.

Granted, I will do everything in my power to keep from regaining what I lost. So weight will unfortunately…not be a done issue.