I’m on a journey to reduce my intake of any and all prescription drugs. I’ve talked about my desire to pretty much eliminate anti-depressants…and coming off of Wellbutrin xl was the best decision EVER. Such a tough journey for a few days but I really felt like myself for the first time in a few weeks. Now I’m about to start weaning off my Lexapro, which I think will be a lot easier of a journey because I’m already taking the lowest dose that is really possible. I could cut the pill smaller, but eh…

Something else I’m weaning off of…..is a sleeping aid. Ok, no. You can’t really wean off it. Ambien CR. You arent supposed to cut it in half, so yeah. Anyway….I’ve taken it for about as long as the Lexapro….since November. I’m ready to be done with it because one can do crazy things on it. For instance….while half asleep, I have emailed a and texted people, shopped online, as well as, ahem, “colored” or tried to, with my husband. Kind of ridiculous and I don’t even remember them half the time. That is sad.

But coming off of it is so difficult. Prescription drugs, in my opinion, are practically made so our bodies become addicted and reliant on them. I have a few times not taken Ambien because I wasn’t likely to get 8 hours of sleep. The first night is bad. I don’t know what the second night is like because I’ve never tried. But the first night? Don’t plan on any sleep. And expect nightmares.

I’m not talking about weird dreams. I’m talking about true nightmares. Evil. Horrific. You don’t even want to try falling back to sleep after you have woken up, trying to shake off the feeling of terror and sweat. I have dreamt of my dogs becoming ill in terrifying ways, and my patients trying to kill me, the end of the world….just to name a few.

I’m now very willing to try anything and everything natural that I can. Even trying a Benadryl or two when I get desperate. But I will never take this pill ever again. I will go to bed every night at 8 if I need more sleep. Its just not worth the stress and frustration.